I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
