I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
