I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize