This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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