I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
