just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
