Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
