I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
