it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
