How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
