Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
