I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
