Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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