the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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