Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
