PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
