My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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