I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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