I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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