omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
