well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can I color on your dick again?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
