lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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