i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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