So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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