i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize