maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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