It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
