I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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