Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
