Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
