it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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