he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
