You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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