he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
