I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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