Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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