marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
