I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
