Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
