Me. At least after what I've been through.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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