Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
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I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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