I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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