so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
