This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
