It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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