Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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