I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
