Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
