Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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