If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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