used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
