My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
