no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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