guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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