Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
