I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
