i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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