i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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