The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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