I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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