Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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