No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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