Are we in a gay sports bar?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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