physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
