Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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