The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
this is an emotional support booty call
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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