Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A bitchslap is in order.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
